honest days work...

I actually spent a little bit of time trying to come up with a good title for today, if you can believe that. Its been a long time since I had the kind of peaceful job satisfaction I had from working today. And it feels great! Never mind the fact that Im in Italy, and really never thought this would be the case, never mind the fact that I sat down with 7 wonderful people to a huge home cooked meal of salad and veggie risotto for my hour lunch, or that we spent a little bit of time joking out in the yard trying to figure out just the right location for the chicken coop we are talking about building, or the fact that I got to tune 7 of the exact same titanium road bikes, all with only a season (and I bet a light one at that) of use in them, I'm just stoked to be working!

I dont want to beat a dead horse with the whole, woah is me, I had a tough year thing, but most of you know that despite having not worked in a while, the kind of work I have found myself in has been less than satisfactory to my soul. My Mom made a comment to me one time about a part of my life she said she though was "crushing my spirit" and those words have been ringing poignant and true since my unexpected release from service with that large corporate brewery out Colorado way. I have been thinking alot about the things in my life that have always brought me happiness. I have realized at the tender early age of 35 that there are just some things in life that ARE who we are.

This summer, I started trying to boil this idea down in regards to where I thought I might like to live. What did I really need in a town for me to be happy? I had already decided that I could do just about anything as far as a paycheck goes, and that in order to work as hard as I had the previous two years I would really have to be sold on a companies mission. But I could (and did) wash some dishes, that's easy and satisfying work, I could work in bike shops and cafes and meet new people who dig the same stuff I do. But what about the where? The more I reduced the idea of place and space (all from a tent or a motorcycle seat mind you) my needs for each was getting smaller and smaller and I was getting closer and closer to an actual answer to the questions that I have never really had more than a smart-assed answer to.

Who is this Scott guy? (or was it Hank, It has been confusing at times) As my friends you can probably whip something up if you had to help me write a personal ad on craigslist that went beyond "...narcissistic sleep farter seeks complete opposite..." but seldom do we sit down to take a real inventory. Unless there is trauma, or we are backed into a corner, and in those times its probably more an ingrained automatic response than a well thought out answer. Life is rarely a "choose your own adventure" with such clarity in times of chaos.

To fight the dragon, turn to page 187.
To use magic to become invisible turn to page 65.

This winter I decided to abandon the idea of working in beer anymore, cause its never really brought me the kind of fulfillment that say, working with Trips for Kids did, or volunteering somewhere, or just helping people get fitted for their first pair of clip-less pedals cause their Team in Training coach said it was a good idea. Plus I was drinking alot and without much to celebrate it was making things cloudy. And now here I am, a chance to work on bikes in Italy, with nice people, who treat each other with respect, and work together well. And today I realized that this is who I am.

As I wrench away by myself in the shop I daydream of the tourists who will be jumping on these bikes to go explore Italy, France, Spain, or chase Lance across the Alps, and how my relationship with the physical world of bikes, especially the one in front of me, is crucial to their enjoyment. And it did not stress me out. My mechanical skills are being honed, and for a good cause. For others. And with every turn of every bolt I understand a little bit more about myself.

S.